Post by legion on Sept 14, 2006 16:03:02 GMT -5
This is how I came to accept Christ as my salvation.
Some of my earliest memories were attending youth Chruch groups and Sunday schools in a tiny little town called Halfway Oregon. Around the time I was 10 my family and I moved away to a town called Winthrop Massachusetts located a few miles north of Boston. Talk about culture shock!
Anyhow after the move I lost Christ. Or rather I stepped away from him. I cursed his name, cursed the name of God. Blasphemed on a daily basis as often as I possibly could. I hated God for making me move away from friends and family and the region I knew and loved. At that age it is easy to miss the reason God has made a change in your life.
I never became a bad child by mundane standards of human law, but by Gods law I don't know that I could have been much worse. I hated my mother and father because it was the "cool" thing to do. Oh don't get me wrong I genuinely hated them in my heart, but I reached that point because I believed it made me look tough in the eyes of my little 10 year old friends and classmates in Winthrop.
Soon after I began to fall into a bad crowd. To be clear "fall" is the wrong word. I stepped willingly into that crowd. They were into drugs and stealing and just being rablerousers. I never got into the drug scene then, but I did start stealing. At first it was small. A nickle, a dime, a quarter... But it grew. Worst thing is that I was stealing money from the very people who loved and supported me. My grandmother, my mother, and friends of the family. It was never any great amount, but then we all know the amount does not matter.
To add insult to injury I began to lie. Lied about pretty much anything and everything. Lied to family and friends. I was so ashamed of what I was becoming that I couldn't stand to face the truth so I lied. That of course didn't hide anything from the eyes of those who cared about me so they confronted me with it. I denied them, and continued to lie, and steal.
This went on from the middle of 4th grade through 8th grade. One day I came across a book about boarding schools for high schoolers. I don't recall what drew me to it, or why I even bothered reading it as it was very dry and boring. Anyhow I began researching various boarding schools out of the area. Keep in mind this was in 1987 or perhaps 1988 so hopping online wasn't an option. Regardless I soon found a school called Fork Union Military Academy in Fork Union Va. And I hatched a plan, plot is the more accurate description.
My intention was to leave home. I had given thought to running away, but had never done so, but this was an opportunity I could not pass up. So I went, hat in hand, to my mother and Grandmother and asked to be sent there. I think I was expecting them to laugh at me, keep in mind it cost about $10k a year to go there. They did not however. They told me to submit a letter of application to the school and we would go from there.
Summer vaction came and I travelled to central Oregon to see my family there. Of course I was still lying and stealing. In the middle of the vacation I received a very official looking piece of mail (hey gimme a break I was only like 12 years old) from Fork Union Military Academy welcoming me to the school. I was accepted! I could finally get away from my mother and grandmother and do whatever I wanted!! Wooooooooooot!!!!!
Wrong...
It turned out to be a southern Baptist Military academy with very strict rules and a code of conduct that went against everything I had become. It is has been a while but if memory servers the honor code stated -
"I will not lie, cheat, or steal, nor tolerate those who do so."
And everyone there lived it. Period. End of story. If you didn't you faced disciplinary actions upto and including expulsion. So I towed the line. At first for the fact that getting expelled ran totally counter to my intenet of being away from my mother and grandmother. After a while however I started observing the honor code because I believed in it. I'm not sure when or how that change came about but I suspect it might have been God working within me.
Remember this was a southern Baptist affiliated school and I was forced to attend chapel 3 days a week. Twice a week was at the chapel on campus and on Sundays I could go to any local area service or the chapel on campus. Since this was a boys only school I made every effort to go with friends to other services so as to see girls. There were several times I felt the Holy Spirit move upon me, but I quickly slammed the door in Gods face.
After I graduated in 1992 I joined the US Navy. No need for details, but the stories we hear about sailors are unfortunately true. In 1995 I got out and moved back to Oregon and started working for the Oregon Department of Forestry out of Klamath Falls. I moved in with my brother and was quickly back to where I had left off with my mother so many years before. Lying and stealing. I don't honestly know if I ever spoke a word of truth during this period of my life. Yet my brother tolerated me. Eventually it was time to move on and I moved north to the central Oregon area where I am to this day. I've skipped some moving around between my father's house, my brother's, and my sisters house. The one common thread each place I stayed had was that I was still who I was. A liar, and a thief.
There I was in central Oregon full time and working full time. From 2000 until 2006 I lived life simply to get by. I had no enjoyment in it. I was perfectly miserable. Then in April my dog died. Anyone who knows me knows that my dog is paramount in my life. He died and I believe now that God started to move on my life again. Or more accurately I believe I started to listen again.
My fist comfort was a girl who I worked with. She was incredible. We started to date. We moved in together. I learned through her that telling the truth is always better than lying. I learned to earn my keep not steal for it. In the end we didn't work out and she left me. There's a lot more to the story, but it isn't worth telling as I hold no bitterness towards her.
For a couple of months after we split up I was despondent. I'd gotten a new dog, but it was just a dog. It didn't comfort me at all. I was lost and ready to descend rapidly back to where I had been. That's when the Lord stepped in.
I can't tell you that there was any great show of power or divine forces. That would be a lie. I simply felt the Holy Spirit move upon me once again and this time I stopped to listen instead of rejecting him. The rest as they say is history.
I did not go seeking God, but when I heard the knock of Christ at my heart I answered the door and invited him in. I was saved quicker than the blink of an eye. I still struggle each and every day. The enemy is still close at hand, whispering in my ear, trying to force my hand. Many times each day I call upon the power of God to drive Satan back from me. Never has God failed his promise to anyone, let alone to a an undeserving creature such as myself. Each day I speak with the Lord, sometimes it is just idle chatter on my part other times it is seeking an answer. Regardless he is always there for me.
One thing I like to do is take my Bible, close my eyes and randomly choose a passage from it and learn about it. I've actually done that since Fork Union when a roommate by the name of Brian McComas gave me a King James Bible, the same one I use to this day, as a gift. Until I was saved when I did it however it meant nothing to me. They were just interesting words in a "cool" dialect, but ultimately with The Enemy whispering in my ears and guiding me the Bible was nothing more than a very large, disconjointed book. Now when I open it and read it things make perfect sense to me. If they don't God knows and without hesitation clears it up.
That's my story, long winded, and not terribly exciting. I never descended into he pits of depravity that some have, but God willing I will never know how close I was.
Some of my earliest memories were attending youth Chruch groups and Sunday schools in a tiny little town called Halfway Oregon. Around the time I was 10 my family and I moved away to a town called Winthrop Massachusetts located a few miles north of Boston. Talk about culture shock!
Anyhow after the move I lost Christ. Or rather I stepped away from him. I cursed his name, cursed the name of God. Blasphemed on a daily basis as often as I possibly could. I hated God for making me move away from friends and family and the region I knew and loved. At that age it is easy to miss the reason God has made a change in your life.
I never became a bad child by mundane standards of human law, but by Gods law I don't know that I could have been much worse. I hated my mother and father because it was the "cool" thing to do. Oh don't get me wrong I genuinely hated them in my heart, but I reached that point because I believed it made me look tough in the eyes of my little 10 year old friends and classmates in Winthrop.
Soon after I began to fall into a bad crowd. To be clear "fall" is the wrong word. I stepped willingly into that crowd. They were into drugs and stealing and just being rablerousers. I never got into the drug scene then, but I did start stealing. At first it was small. A nickle, a dime, a quarter... But it grew. Worst thing is that I was stealing money from the very people who loved and supported me. My grandmother, my mother, and friends of the family. It was never any great amount, but then we all know the amount does not matter.
To add insult to injury I began to lie. Lied about pretty much anything and everything. Lied to family and friends. I was so ashamed of what I was becoming that I couldn't stand to face the truth so I lied. That of course didn't hide anything from the eyes of those who cared about me so they confronted me with it. I denied them, and continued to lie, and steal.
This went on from the middle of 4th grade through 8th grade. One day I came across a book about boarding schools for high schoolers. I don't recall what drew me to it, or why I even bothered reading it as it was very dry and boring. Anyhow I began researching various boarding schools out of the area. Keep in mind this was in 1987 or perhaps 1988 so hopping online wasn't an option. Regardless I soon found a school called Fork Union Military Academy in Fork Union Va. And I hatched a plan, plot is the more accurate description.
My intention was to leave home. I had given thought to running away, but had never done so, but this was an opportunity I could not pass up. So I went, hat in hand, to my mother and Grandmother and asked to be sent there. I think I was expecting them to laugh at me, keep in mind it cost about $10k a year to go there. They did not however. They told me to submit a letter of application to the school and we would go from there.
Summer vaction came and I travelled to central Oregon to see my family there. Of course I was still lying and stealing. In the middle of the vacation I received a very official looking piece of mail (hey gimme a break I was only like 12 years old) from Fork Union Military Academy welcoming me to the school. I was accepted! I could finally get away from my mother and grandmother and do whatever I wanted!! Wooooooooooot!!!!!
Wrong...
It turned out to be a southern Baptist Military academy with very strict rules and a code of conduct that went against everything I had become. It is has been a while but if memory servers the honor code stated -
"I will not lie, cheat, or steal, nor tolerate those who do so."
And everyone there lived it. Period. End of story. If you didn't you faced disciplinary actions upto and including expulsion. So I towed the line. At first for the fact that getting expelled ran totally counter to my intenet of being away from my mother and grandmother. After a while however I started observing the honor code because I believed in it. I'm not sure when or how that change came about but I suspect it might have been God working within me.
Remember this was a southern Baptist affiliated school and I was forced to attend chapel 3 days a week. Twice a week was at the chapel on campus and on Sundays I could go to any local area service or the chapel on campus. Since this was a boys only school I made every effort to go with friends to other services so as to see girls. There were several times I felt the Holy Spirit move upon me, but I quickly slammed the door in Gods face.
After I graduated in 1992 I joined the US Navy. No need for details, but the stories we hear about sailors are unfortunately true. In 1995 I got out and moved back to Oregon and started working for the Oregon Department of Forestry out of Klamath Falls. I moved in with my brother and was quickly back to where I had left off with my mother so many years before. Lying and stealing. I don't honestly know if I ever spoke a word of truth during this period of my life. Yet my brother tolerated me. Eventually it was time to move on and I moved north to the central Oregon area where I am to this day. I've skipped some moving around between my father's house, my brother's, and my sisters house. The one common thread each place I stayed had was that I was still who I was. A liar, and a thief.
There I was in central Oregon full time and working full time. From 2000 until 2006 I lived life simply to get by. I had no enjoyment in it. I was perfectly miserable. Then in April my dog died. Anyone who knows me knows that my dog is paramount in my life. He died and I believe now that God started to move on my life again. Or more accurately I believe I started to listen again.
My fist comfort was a girl who I worked with. She was incredible. We started to date. We moved in together. I learned through her that telling the truth is always better than lying. I learned to earn my keep not steal for it. In the end we didn't work out and she left me. There's a lot more to the story, but it isn't worth telling as I hold no bitterness towards her.
For a couple of months after we split up I was despondent. I'd gotten a new dog, but it was just a dog. It didn't comfort me at all. I was lost and ready to descend rapidly back to where I had been. That's when the Lord stepped in.
I can't tell you that there was any great show of power or divine forces. That would be a lie. I simply felt the Holy Spirit move upon me once again and this time I stopped to listen instead of rejecting him. The rest as they say is history.
I did not go seeking God, but when I heard the knock of Christ at my heart I answered the door and invited him in. I was saved quicker than the blink of an eye. I still struggle each and every day. The enemy is still close at hand, whispering in my ear, trying to force my hand. Many times each day I call upon the power of God to drive Satan back from me. Never has God failed his promise to anyone, let alone to a an undeserving creature such as myself. Each day I speak with the Lord, sometimes it is just idle chatter on my part other times it is seeking an answer. Regardless he is always there for me.
One thing I like to do is take my Bible, close my eyes and randomly choose a passage from it and learn about it. I've actually done that since Fork Union when a roommate by the name of Brian McComas gave me a King James Bible, the same one I use to this day, as a gift. Until I was saved when I did it however it meant nothing to me. They were just interesting words in a "cool" dialect, but ultimately with The Enemy whispering in my ears and guiding me the Bible was nothing more than a very large, disconjointed book. Now when I open it and read it things make perfect sense to me. If they don't God knows and without hesitation clears it up.
That's my story, long winded, and not terribly exciting. I never descended into he pits of depravity that some have, but God willing I will never know how close I was.