Post by Senorita on May 21, 2007 18:08:05 GMT -5
You may have seen some or all of these before, but I found some of them to be funny!
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature!
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know - it's never happened.
What's the best way to force a man to do situps?
Put the remote between his toes.
How do men define a 50/50 relationship?
We cook/they eat we clean/they dirty we iron/they wrinkle!
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
Bella
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me...."
I date this girl for two years -- and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name..."
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!" The other replies: "GREAT trade!"
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
What is the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature!
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know - it's never happened.
What's the best way to force a man to do situps?
Put the remote between his toes.
How do men define a 50/50 relationship?
We cook/they eat we clean/they dirty we iron/they wrinkle!
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
Bella
