Post by Phalanx-=Of-God=- (James) on Jul 27, 2007 9:25:47 GMT -5
Since Danny posted the canonical laws of combat, I thought I'd give you guys selected bits from the armored division corollaries:
- The fuel truck will run out of fuel just before he gets to your tank.
- You will run out of fuel before he returns.
- Tanks don’t float.
- Attempting to help recover a mired tank will only result in your tank becoming mired also.
- The primary purpose of an operations order is to ensure that all blame falls on the line units.
- For this reason, the staff will not publish an operations order until after the exercise is completed.
- Night vision devices will only fail at night.
- They will function perfectly once the sun rises.
- The dirtier and more tired you are, the less appreciative you become of "constructive criticism" from somebody in a pristine uniform.
- The heater on your tank will fail in October. The part to repair it will arrive in April.
- No matter how minor the ailment, a visit to the medics will result in an I.V.
- Arguing with the medics about this will result in your being evacuated in a neck brace and back board (in addition to the I.V.).
- When loading the main gun, remember: “pointy end first.”
- The only times you will throw a track are: a. At night, b. in the rain, c. during the movement back to garrison, or d. one hour after you installed the new ones.
- All infantry fighting vehicles don’t look alike.
- It is cruel to tell NBC types “Hey, that Fox (NATO chemical/biological/nuclear weapons detection vehicle) looks like a BMP (Russian made armored vehicle used by many countries, like Iraq)!” — particularly when live rounds are being issued.
- Shaking trees to your front mean that you are being hunted by helicopters.
- When you are told your engineer support was needed elsewhere, the bridge will be out.
- If all else fails, shoot at the muzzle flashes — the larger ones are the dangerous ones, the smaller ones are infantry.
- The infantry muzzle flashes you ignore are covering an anti-tank team setting up.
- Close air support is safest from far away.
- Proving that three feet of frontal armor protection will defend against any threat is probably best demonstrated on someone else’s track.
- Tanks are very easy to see unless you’re dismounted and they’re backing up.
- The one time you skip the firing circuit test is when you have the misfire.
- “GUNNER, SABOT, SNIPER” (firing an anti-tank round at a sniper) is not an appropriate use of ammunition.
- Unsecured turrets will only swing freely mid-way through a rail tunnel.
- When doing a gunnery test, the tank is always operational until you get to the ready line.
- If you are promised “downtime,” what they really mean is: "you will be breaking track."
From: The Strategy Page
- The fuel truck will run out of fuel just before he gets to your tank.
- You will run out of fuel before he returns.
- Tanks don’t float.
- Attempting to help recover a mired tank will only result in your tank becoming mired also.
- The primary purpose of an operations order is to ensure that all blame falls on the line units.
- For this reason, the staff will not publish an operations order until after the exercise is completed.
- Night vision devices will only fail at night.
- They will function perfectly once the sun rises.
- The dirtier and more tired you are, the less appreciative you become of "constructive criticism" from somebody in a pristine uniform.
- The heater on your tank will fail in October. The part to repair it will arrive in April.
- No matter how minor the ailment, a visit to the medics will result in an I.V.
- Arguing with the medics about this will result in your being evacuated in a neck brace and back board (in addition to the I.V.).
- When loading the main gun, remember: “pointy end first.”
- The only times you will throw a track are: a. At night, b. in the rain, c. during the movement back to garrison, or d. one hour after you installed the new ones.
- All infantry fighting vehicles don’t look alike.
- It is cruel to tell NBC types “Hey, that Fox (NATO chemical/biological/nuclear weapons detection vehicle) looks like a BMP (Russian made armored vehicle used by many countries, like Iraq)!” — particularly when live rounds are being issued.
- Shaking trees to your front mean that you are being hunted by helicopters.
- When you are told your engineer support was needed elsewhere, the bridge will be out.
- If all else fails, shoot at the muzzle flashes — the larger ones are the dangerous ones, the smaller ones are infantry.
- The infantry muzzle flashes you ignore are covering an anti-tank team setting up.
- Close air support is safest from far away.
- Proving that three feet of frontal armor protection will defend against any threat is probably best demonstrated on someone else’s track.
- Tanks are very easy to see unless you’re dismounted and they’re backing up.
- The one time you skip the firing circuit test is when you have the misfire.
- “GUNNER, SABOT, SNIPER” (firing an anti-tank round at a sniper) is not an appropriate use of ammunition.
- Unsecured turrets will only swing freely mid-way through a rail tunnel.
- When doing a gunnery test, the tank is always operational until you get to the ready line.
- If you are promised “downtime,” what they really mean is: "you will be breaking track."
From: The Strategy Page
. 