Post by Prototype-=Of-God=- on Jul 30, 2006 19:09:30 GMT -5
Recently I asked in the Prayer Request forum for people to pray for my friend Josh who's trying to get off of Chrystal meth. While writing last night in a reply to that string I started a testimonial of sorts that I was ashamed of but in the light of a new day I realize I should share my experiences with everyone I can to try to keep them away from the lifestyle I had.
This is the reply I made on the other forum:
"I don't know if I've ever shared that I am a recovering drug addict but here it is. I have been to Rehab for both cocaine and meth so I know how he's feeling. There's a big emptiness inside of most addicts they try to fill with drugs and at first it seems to work. The drugs make you think you've found what you've been looking for but that's just the Devil's way in. You feel invincible and on top of the world when you first get high but that's soon followed by a low so deep that you wish you would die. You can never quite get that invincible feeling back again so you chase it and chase it with more and more drugs. Soon you need the drugs just to get back to feeling normal. Then comes the stage where you will do anything to get your drugs. The Devil has you then. You become a thief, a liar, a cheat, or anything you have to get drugs to feel normal again. I got lucky and found a way out before the I ended up dead in a gutter somewhere.
I have almost 10 years sober now and I thank the Lord every day for helping me. When I decided to come off the drugs it was Jesus' love that finally filled the void for me. Josh is seeing how happy (even though my pic makes me look like a bitter bitter man ) I am and has decided to let Jesus into his heart. I am going to move him into my house soon as he's unemployed and I'm going to show him AA and this clan. Even though I don't post much on here I do read alot of the forums every time I can and it gives me a lift knowing there are people like all of you in the world. Hopefully you'll all be seeing him playing with us soon and God willing he'll apply to join our family.
Wow that's the most I've typed in years. If you got this far thanks for reading my ramblings.
God bless
-Kevin"
I have a thousand stories of degradation to myself and criminal and immoral acts I performed to get drugs but I would rather share the story of how I got away from the drugs. The 3 times in Rehab didn't do it
I was living on Vancouver Island in British Columbia. I was sleeping on the streets and getting money by shoplifting then selling what I got and by mugging people. I was living day by day and nothing was sacred. I would steal from anyone at any time. I had a "friend" who got $10,000 from an insurance settlement from an accident who had one leg that was basically dead. When he cashed his cheque I talked him into a scheme where I would take all his money and buy drugs that we would sell so we could keep high "forever" on the profits. When I first got the money I had all intentions of following the plan but the buy didn't go off when I thought it would. I put up in a hotel for the night and decided to just get a little crack to get me through the night. Five days later I was broke and had every junkie in Vancouver out for my head. I decided to head back to New Brunswick and left the island to hitch hike there.
It was winter so there was snow on the ground and I wasn't dressed for the elements. I remember cursing God for making it so cold and for me not getting a ride. After about 5 hours on the side of the road a trucker picked me up that was heading to Quebec . He was about 6'7" and 300 lbs. HUGE. He had an aura of happiness I could literally see around him. I got in the truck and he talked to me for miles and miles then stopped for a meal and bought one for me as well. By the time we got through BC he'd gotten most of the story of my life out of me and told me very little about himself. He never judged me he just listened and asked a few questions. By the time we'd gotten through Alberta I had found out that the man was a devout Christian and that he was once a druggie but had found the Lord and became saved and clean. We drove together for 8 days and slept in the truck every night with him buying my meals and comforting me when I got the DT's (Detox Tremors). On the 9th day at about noon we got through Ontario and crossed the border to Quebec.
That night while he slept I knew I was almost home and decided to bail out and take what I could to go find drugs. I took his wallet, his gas station credit cards, the small TV in the bunk, and the stereo he mounted on the dash. I crept out into the parking lot and turned around to shut the door when his big hand held the door opened and I saw his face come out of the dark. My first instinct was to run but his eyes had a look of sadness and pity in them I'll never forget. He didn't try to get out of the truck he just asked me to open his wallet and give him back his ID and his kid's pictures. I opened the wallet and as I was handing the stuff back he held out a New Testament Bible in his left hand and said "You can take all you want from me but please take this as well" I broke into tears and collapsed on the pavement and that big trucker came out and hugged me like I was his own child.
I don't know how long we stayed like that but it felt like forever. We put everything back into his truck and he drove to his final drop with me in the passenger seat too ashamed to look at him and sobbing like a newborn. He lived about 30 min north of Montreal in a small house with his wife and 3 kids. That man opened his house to me even though he knew I was a thief a liar and a junkie. I stayed there for almost 3 months earning my keep by chopping wood for his stove and helping around the house. They even trusted me enough to leave the children in my care while the wife went on truck runs with the trucker. I went to church with the family 3 times a week and read the New Testament till I fell asleep every night. When I finally thought I was strong enough to leave and be on my own the trucker drove me to my parents house.
At first my parents were hesitant to trust me as I had lied to them and stolen from them so many times. But now every time I see my mother I can see the love and pride in her eyes. My father and I had never gotten along because I was so rebellious but now we go fishing and hunting more like lifelong friends then father and son. I've been clean now for 9 years 7 months and without that trucker and Jesus I know I would be dead.
I haven't used the truckers name at his request. He doesn't know much about computers and doesn't want his name on the Internet at all We still talk at least once a week on the phone and whenever our paths come close to one another we meet up. I have made amends to most of my friends and family for what I had taken away from them but I can never equal out what he gave me if I lived to be a thousand. He doesn't like to talk alot about what he did for me because he says Jesus did the work through him but I've seen the scrapbook he keeps with pictures I've sent him and news clippings from when I played sports and kick boxed. I know excessive pride is bad but I feel his pride in me every time I look into his big gentle eyes.
Well that's the end of my ramblings for another day My knuckles have been broken so may times in the ring that typing this has taken a long long time but I hope some of you young people who are thinking about trying drugs read this and think about what you are getting into. You not only do harm to yourself but you hurt everyone around you.
God Bless
-Kevin
This is the reply I made on the other forum:
"I don't know if I've ever shared that I am a recovering drug addict but here it is. I have been to Rehab for both cocaine and meth so I know how he's feeling. There's a big emptiness inside of most addicts they try to fill with drugs and at first it seems to work. The drugs make you think you've found what you've been looking for but that's just the Devil's way in. You feel invincible and on top of the world when you first get high but that's soon followed by a low so deep that you wish you would die. You can never quite get that invincible feeling back again so you chase it and chase it with more and more drugs. Soon you need the drugs just to get back to feeling normal. Then comes the stage where you will do anything to get your drugs. The Devil has you then. You become a thief, a liar, a cheat, or anything you have to get drugs to feel normal again. I got lucky and found a way out before the I ended up dead in a gutter somewhere.
I have almost 10 years sober now and I thank the Lord every day for helping me. When I decided to come off the drugs it was Jesus' love that finally filled the void for me. Josh is seeing how happy (even though my pic makes me look like a bitter bitter man ) I am and has decided to let Jesus into his heart. I am going to move him into my house soon as he's unemployed and I'm going to show him AA and this clan. Even though I don't post much on here I do read alot of the forums every time I can and it gives me a lift knowing there are people like all of you in the world. Hopefully you'll all be seeing him playing with us soon and God willing he'll apply to join our family.
Wow that's the most I've typed in years. If you got this far thanks for reading my ramblings.
God bless
-Kevin"
I have a thousand stories of degradation to myself and criminal and immoral acts I performed to get drugs but I would rather share the story of how I got away from the drugs. The 3 times in Rehab didn't do it
I was living on Vancouver Island in British Columbia. I was sleeping on the streets and getting money by shoplifting then selling what I got and by mugging people. I was living day by day and nothing was sacred. I would steal from anyone at any time. I had a "friend" who got $10,000 from an insurance settlement from an accident who had one leg that was basically dead. When he cashed his cheque I talked him into a scheme where I would take all his money and buy drugs that we would sell so we could keep high "forever" on the profits. When I first got the money I had all intentions of following the plan but the buy didn't go off when I thought it would. I put up in a hotel for the night and decided to just get a little crack to get me through the night. Five days later I was broke and had every junkie in Vancouver out for my head. I decided to head back to New Brunswick and left the island to hitch hike there.
It was winter so there was snow on the ground and I wasn't dressed for the elements. I remember cursing God for making it so cold and for me not getting a ride. After about 5 hours on the side of the road a trucker picked me up that was heading to Quebec . He was about 6'7" and 300 lbs. HUGE. He had an aura of happiness I could literally see around him. I got in the truck and he talked to me for miles and miles then stopped for a meal and bought one for me as well. By the time we got through BC he'd gotten most of the story of my life out of me and told me very little about himself. He never judged me he just listened and asked a few questions. By the time we'd gotten through Alberta I had found out that the man was a devout Christian and that he was once a druggie but had found the Lord and became saved and clean. We drove together for 8 days and slept in the truck every night with him buying my meals and comforting me when I got the DT's (Detox Tremors). On the 9th day at about noon we got through Ontario and crossed the border to Quebec.
That night while he slept I knew I was almost home and decided to bail out and take what I could to go find drugs. I took his wallet, his gas station credit cards, the small TV in the bunk, and the stereo he mounted on the dash. I crept out into the parking lot and turned around to shut the door when his big hand held the door opened and I saw his face come out of the dark. My first instinct was to run but his eyes had a look of sadness and pity in them I'll never forget. He didn't try to get out of the truck he just asked me to open his wallet and give him back his ID and his kid's pictures. I opened the wallet and as I was handing the stuff back he held out a New Testament Bible in his left hand and said "You can take all you want from me but please take this as well" I broke into tears and collapsed on the pavement and that big trucker came out and hugged me like I was his own child.
I don't know how long we stayed like that but it felt like forever. We put everything back into his truck and he drove to his final drop with me in the passenger seat too ashamed to look at him and sobbing like a newborn. He lived about 30 min north of Montreal in a small house with his wife and 3 kids. That man opened his house to me even though he knew I was a thief a liar and a junkie. I stayed there for almost 3 months earning my keep by chopping wood for his stove and helping around the house. They even trusted me enough to leave the children in my care while the wife went on truck runs with the trucker. I went to church with the family 3 times a week and read the New Testament till I fell asleep every night. When I finally thought I was strong enough to leave and be on my own the trucker drove me to my parents house.
At first my parents were hesitant to trust me as I had lied to them and stolen from them so many times. But now every time I see my mother I can see the love and pride in her eyes. My father and I had never gotten along because I was so rebellious but now we go fishing and hunting more like lifelong friends then father and son. I've been clean now for 9 years 7 months and without that trucker and Jesus I know I would be dead.
I haven't used the truckers name at his request. He doesn't know much about computers and doesn't want his name on the Internet at all We still talk at least once a week on the phone and whenever our paths come close to one another we meet up. I have made amends to most of my friends and family for what I had taken away from them but I can never equal out what he gave me if I lived to be a thousand. He doesn't like to talk alot about what he did for me because he says Jesus did the work through him but I've seen the scrapbook he keeps with pictures I've sent him and news clippings from when I played sports and kick boxed. I know excessive pride is bad but I feel his pride in me every time I look into his big gentle eyes.
Well that's the end of my ramblings for another day My knuckles have been broken so may times in the ring that typing this has taken a long long time but I hope some of you young people who are thinking about trying drugs read this and think about what you are getting into. You not only do harm to yourself but you hurt everyone around you.
God Bless
-Kevin