Post by Hippie (Ben) on Sept 20, 2006 13:21:26 GMT -5
I wrote this last week for my Honors Composition class. I hope there is at least one who might be inspired:
Personal Experience Essay by Ben
Many people harden their hearts when something bad happens in their lives. Something a friend says, an accident, or just bad news can trigger such feelings. I happen to be one of those people, or I was at least. There was a major change in my life that brought about an overall hatred of God and anything that had to do with Him. I am here to tell you that God's purpose is unknown and to think that He hates us is just ridiculous. Without putting our faith in God, we are nothing and our lives are just as worthless.
In the summer of 1999, life for my family was very peaceful. My mother owned and operated a small-town stained glass store. My father was a very well-known and respected coin dealer. Me, my brother and my sister were all home schooled. I can't recall the exact day it happened but I can remember the details of the event with terrifying accuracy. I was driving with my dad and we were pulling up to an intersection. In the middle of the intersection, he reached for his ever-present coffee cup and in the process, snapped his arm. I have never heard a grown man scream so loudly before. Needless to say, we pulled in the parking lot so he could take some aspirin. At this time, my father didn't realize his arm was broken. He thought that he might have pulled something and that he should go to the doctor right away. Our family doctor, who had been so for many years, simply told my dad that it was bursitis and sent him home. On the way home however, hitting the railroad tracks in the car was making my dad scream thus we decided to go to the emergency room just to make sure everything was ok. How a doctor could mistake a broken arm for bursitis was beyond my comprehension. I will say however that it was the last time we ever visited that doctor. We could have sued for malpractice but we had enough on our plate already.
When the x-rays came back on my dad's arm, something was wrong. The doctors took more scans to find out the true cause of the broken arm. The results were disastrous. His arm had broken from the result of kidney cancer that had spread to his arm, brain, and shoulder. How does one respond to such information? I was only eleven years old at that time and to hear news that your dad has twelve months to live is very shocking to say the least. When the cancer was discovered, it was stage four which meant that the only thing they could do for him was experimental medicine. They put him on a new drug called interleukin. The side effects of this particular drug were so violent that most people could only take two or three doses. Over the course of about six months, my dad took over eighty doses.
This was hard on my family because of many things including staggering medical bills and the loss of a breadwinner. Its not that my father wasn't able to go out and work, it's just that he was so busy with treatments and appointments. He lost complete usage of his right arm for the rest of his life. Fortunately for him, he was left handed. About the only things that he could do at this point was list items on eBay and ship them out. This didn't make things easier for my dad since it lead to other complications such as seizures from the constant staring into a computer monitor. Our family bought several things for him even though we weren't rich. We bought him a big screen TV, since he watched a lot of TV during his last years. Another notable extra that we got him was a used Mercedes that he had always wanted to buy. He could only drive for about three or four months after we bought it but he enjoyed it nonetheless.
Over the years the cancer came and went multiple times. There were periods when he was cancer free, and then there were the times when it would come back in another place. The doctors removed one of his kidneys and he had a metal rod inserted in his right arm. Of all the places where the cancer was first found, the only place it didn't fully attack was, thankfully, the brain. He underwent chemotherapy, took the interleukin, and even went out to the Bethesda naval base for experimental treatment. He never lost his hair though; he was always proud of his hair and the ponytail that he formed with it. To tell you the truth, I'm kind of glad he never lost his hair either; it would just be weird to see him without it. The main attribute that I remember of my dad was when we would be at a coin show one could always hear his laughter over all the noise and ruckus of the show.
My father's favorite verse and motto over those years was Isaiah 40:31 which reads: "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." He always placed his trust in God to pull him through his cancer. My dad had a reputation with his character. He was always jolly and full of life. He was more than outgoing, he would put anything that he might be doing aside to help a friend. With this being said, I would estimate that, without adding people who might have found out through a friend, he had at least a thousand people that he knew personally praying for him. That's quite a bit of prayer. God answers prayer all the time and my dad is an example of God's greatness.
I wish that I might have shown the same devotion and love for God through my dad's struggle that he did. I never really considered myself a Christian but I never really gave it much thought. I accepted Christ in Sunday school during one of those days where all the kids say a little prayer and that's about it. I had an amazing example in my dad but I just hardened my heart and blamed God. I ignored the fact that my dad was given twelve months to live and ended up living for six more years. My dad was given the wonderful gift of being able to see his children become the young men and women that he raised them to be. I became very angry at God and didn't pray during the entire six years. Basically I didn't want anything to do with God. My line of thought was this: "If God is so merciful, why doesn't he fully heal my dad?" I always kept my thoughts about God hidden, talking the talk but never walking the walk. I went to church, it was a Christian home but I was ignorant and bitter. A few close friends knew my attitude and tried to help me through and change my attitude. They didn't succeed but that didn't stop them from trying.
My dad finally passed away in the summer of 2005. I was away at camp when it happened but I was supported by a group of 27 guys who bonded through it. It didn't bother me as much as it did while he was still alive because I finally realized that he was in a better place. I know for sure that he is in Heaven. Over this last summer I reaccepted Jesus into my life and look forward to being reunited with my father and my Heavenly Father someday. My dad never was upset or angry about having cancer. He always trusted God to pull him through. He never got down on himself or other people. The week before he died even when he was in really bad shape, he was always upbeat and cheery. Take his example and apply it to your lives. Trust God in every situation that may come your way. I would urge you to live life for God; He will bless you more than you know.
Personal Experience Essay by Ben
Many people harden their hearts when something bad happens in their lives. Something a friend says, an accident, or just bad news can trigger such feelings. I happen to be one of those people, or I was at least. There was a major change in my life that brought about an overall hatred of God and anything that had to do with Him. I am here to tell you that God's purpose is unknown and to think that He hates us is just ridiculous. Without putting our faith in God, we are nothing and our lives are just as worthless.
In the summer of 1999, life for my family was very peaceful. My mother owned and operated a small-town stained glass store. My father was a very well-known and respected coin dealer. Me, my brother and my sister were all home schooled. I can't recall the exact day it happened but I can remember the details of the event with terrifying accuracy. I was driving with my dad and we were pulling up to an intersection. In the middle of the intersection, he reached for his ever-present coffee cup and in the process, snapped his arm. I have never heard a grown man scream so loudly before. Needless to say, we pulled in the parking lot so he could take some aspirin. At this time, my father didn't realize his arm was broken. He thought that he might have pulled something and that he should go to the doctor right away. Our family doctor, who had been so for many years, simply told my dad that it was bursitis and sent him home. On the way home however, hitting the railroad tracks in the car was making my dad scream thus we decided to go to the emergency room just to make sure everything was ok. How a doctor could mistake a broken arm for bursitis was beyond my comprehension. I will say however that it was the last time we ever visited that doctor. We could have sued for malpractice but we had enough on our plate already.
When the x-rays came back on my dad's arm, something was wrong. The doctors took more scans to find out the true cause of the broken arm. The results were disastrous. His arm had broken from the result of kidney cancer that had spread to his arm, brain, and shoulder. How does one respond to such information? I was only eleven years old at that time and to hear news that your dad has twelve months to live is very shocking to say the least. When the cancer was discovered, it was stage four which meant that the only thing they could do for him was experimental medicine. They put him on a new drug called interleukin. The side effects of this particular drug were so violent that most people could only take two or three doses. Over the course of about six months, my dad took over eighty doses.
This was hard on my family because of many things including staggering medical bills and the loss of a breadwinner. Its not that my father wasn't able to go out and work, it's just that he was so busy with treatments and appointments. He lost complete usage of his right arm for the rest of his life. Fortunately for him, he was left handed. About the only things that he could do at this point was list items on eBay and ship them out. This didn't make things easier for my dad since it lead to other complications such as seizures from the constant staring into a computer monitor. Our family bought several things for him even though we weren't rich. We bought him a big screen TV, since he watched a lot of TV during his last years. Another notable extra that we got him was a used Mercedes that he had always wanted to buy. He could only drive for about three or four months after we bought it but he enjoyed it nonetheless.
Over the years the cancer came and went multiple times. There were periods when he was cancer free, and then there were the times when it would come back in another place. The doctors removed one of his kidneys and he had a metal rod inserted in his right arm. Of all the places where the cancer was first found, the only place it didn't fully attack was, thankfully, the brain. He underwent chemotherapy, took the interleukin, and even went out to the Bethesda naval base for experimental treatment. He never lost his hair though; he was always proud of his hair and the ponytail that he formed with it. To tell you the truth, I'm kind of glad he never lost his hair either; it would just be weird to see him without it. The main attribute that I remember of my dad was when we would be at a coin show one could always hear his laughter over all the noise and ruckus of the show.
My father's favorite verse and motto over those years was Isaiah 40:31 which reads: "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." He always placed his trust in God to pull him through his cancer. My dad had a reputation with his character. He was always jolly and full of life. He was more than outgoing, he would put anything that he might be doing aside to help a friend. With this being said, I would estimate that, without adding people who might have found out through a friend, he had at least a thousand people that he knew personally praying for him. That's quite a bit of prayer. God answers prayer all the time and my dad is an example of God's greatness.
I wish that I might have shown the same devotion and love for God through my dad's struggle that he did. I never really considered myself a Christian but I never really gave it much thought. I accepted Christ in Sunday school during one of those days where all the kids say a little prayer and that's about it. I had an amazing example in my dad but I just hardened my heart and blamed God. I ignored the fact that my dad was given twelve months to live and ended up living for six more years. My dad was given the wonderful gift of being able to see his children become the young men and women that he raised them to be. I became very angry at God and didn't pray during the entire six years. Basically I didn't want anything to do with God. My line of thought was this: "If God is so merciful, why doesn't he fully heal my dad?" I always kept my thoughts about God hidden, talking the talk but never walking the walk. I went to church, it was a Christian home but I was ignorant and bitter. A few close friends knew my attitude and tried to help me through and change my attitude. They didn't succeed but that didn't stop them from trying.
My dad finally passed away in the summer of 2005. I was away at camp when it happened but I was supported by a group of 27 guys who bonded through it. It didn't bother me as much as it did while he was still alive because I finally realized that he was in a better place. I know for sure that he is in Heaven. Over this last summer I reaccepted Jesus into my life and look forward to being reunited with my father and my Heavenly Father someday. My dad never was upset or angry about having cancer. He always trusted God to pull him through. He never got down on himself or other people. The week before he died even when he was in really bad shape, he was always upbeat and cheery. Take his example and apply it to your lives. Trust God in every situation that may come your way. I would urge you to live life for God; He will bless you more than you know.
May God bless you in everything you set your heart to accomplish brother. 
Thanx Andrew 