Jokes!

[Senorita]

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.




A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I've got mail!"




A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.

The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"



Just for ol' time's sake...


Bella

[Goodness]

You to love those blond jokes .
First one is so true ,can answer this one quick before wife appears behind me ;D

[Goodness]

Not gone open a new topic so official joke topic .

Here we go :
There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from an airplane.

Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette.

They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off."

After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blonde's started clapping.

Problem solved.



ok this is a true blonde for ya!!

The local Sheriff was looking for a new deputy.

When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her "Okay, what is 1 and 1?"

"Eleven", she replies.

The Sheriff thinks to himself, "Thats not what I wanted, but I guess she's right!"

"What two days of the week begin with the letter T?" he asks.

"Today and Tomorrow", the blonde answers.

The Sheriff is again surprised that the blonde has supplied a correct answer that had not even occurred to him.

"Now listen carefully, who killed Abe Lincoln?" he asks her.

The blonde looks a little surprised. She thinks really hard for a minute and finally admits, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, the blonde wanders over to the beauty parlor, where her pals are waiting to hear the results of the interview.

The blonde was exultant. "The interview went great!" she says. "First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"



there was a dumb blonde and she wanted to put together a jiggsaw puzzle and it was hard so she called her boyfriend to help her put it together........so he came over and he said is this the puzzle on the table and asked what it was suppose to be and she said yes it is the puzzle and it is suppose to be a tiger, the guy said first lets make some tea and then clean up the frosted flakes off the table

[Skater-=Of-God=-]

[quote author=lasenoritabella board=humor thread=26937 post=132829
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I've got mail!" [/quote]

lol Fail

[Endurance-=Of-God=- (Ben)]

Oct 14, 2008 15:50:54 GMT -5 Skater-=Of-God=- said:

lasenoritabella said:

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I've got mail!"

lol Fail

lol... indeed... he he

[Champ-=Of-God=- (Eric)]

Oct 14, 2008 13:35:51 GMT -5 Goodness said:

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from an airplane.

Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette.

They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off."

After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blonde's started clapping.

Problem solved.

Brunette = Crit (20 on a 20 sided die)
Blondes = Epic Fail (1 on a 20 sided die)

lol

[Endurance-=Of-God=- (Ben)]

another blond joke:

so a blond cop pulls over another blond that was speeding

the cop asks for her drivers license, but the girl says, "I can't find it! What does it look like?"

the blond cop says, "O, it's square and has your picture on it."

naturally, the other blond finds a small, square mirror and hands it to the cop.

The blond cop looks at it and imediatly says, "O, I didn't realize you were a cop!" and drives away

[Champ-=Of-God=- (Eric)]

That's a nice way to get out of a ticket, lol.