Post by Peace-=Of-God=- on Jun 9, 2005 0:28:42 GMT -5
[source unknown]
If people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em -- you might be in a redneck church!
If when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up -- you might be in a redneck church!
If opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the choir is known as the "OK Chorale" -- you might be in a redneck church!
If, in a congregation of 500+ members, there are only seven different last names in the church directory -- you might be in a redneck church!
If Baptism is referred to as "branding" -- you might be in a redneck church!
If high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling -- you might be in a redneck church!
If people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy -- you might be in a redneck church!
If instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink" -- you might be in a redneck church!
If "Thou shalt not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah" -- you might be in a redneck church!
If people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em -- you might be in a redneck church!
If when the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up -- you might be in a redneck church!
If opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the choir is known as the "OK Chorale" -- you might be in a redneck church!
If, in a congregation of 500+ members, there are only seven different last names in the church directory -- you might be in a redneck church!
If Baptism is referred to as "branding" -- you might be in a redneck church!
If high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling -- you might be in a redneck church!
If people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy -- you might be in a redneck church!
If instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink" -- you might be in a redneck church!
If "Thou shalt not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too -- you might be in a redneck church!
If the final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya heah" -- you might be in a redneck church!
Those are good. 
