Life at a Call Center

[Goodness]

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Life at a Call Center

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PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS ARE PAID SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE.
TAKE A LOOK:

1) Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

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2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

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3).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing M*CRO$OFT Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

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4).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$

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5).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."

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7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

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. Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

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9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."

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10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

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11).Customer: "I have M*CRO$OFT Exploder."

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12).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

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13). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

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14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

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15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

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16). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his
Computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and
it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is
frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is
an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let
me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact M*CRO$OFT and ask them for a patch that will give you the
file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang M*CRO$OFT and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

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17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now and
may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how do I find your computer?

[Peace-=Of-God=-]

Nice one, Danny! ;D

danny said:

4).Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

My reply to this one: "No, not at all, ma'am -- if you have no computer, you still may find that the installation CD-ROM works equally well as a mini-Frisbee or as a coaster for your beverage of choice. Also, if you collect 35 of our installation CD-ROM's, you'll be eligible to receive our free pattern for creating your own shiny CD-ROM fish, suitable for hanging on the wall above the space on your desk where your computer should be."


but true ... I actually do have a giant CD-ROM fish (about 3 feet long, 1½ feet high!) on the wall above my desk; I made it primarily out of CD's from AOL, MSN, and a few other ISP's that wanted (but did not receive ;D) my business. It's the epitome of "geek chic"!

[ForChrist-=Of-God=-]

Thanks for finding and sharing those Danny! They would be a lot funnier if they weren't so true! LOL

Bro Jeff
a.k.a. [shadow=red,left,300][glow=red,2,300]†_FC_†™[/glow][/shadow]

[skillshot]

Must have been REALLY bored jeff

[Zilla-=Of-God=- (Mike)]

the sad thing is...ive talked to people like that before....

but it is pretty funny, asnd describes why i will actually be able to have a job fixing computers lol

[samusx]

If I was that guy taking all of those phone calls, I don't know how I could live with myself after a couple years, and probably end up committing suicide

[-[M@D]-Valley]

i used to work for a computercompany and worked after closing hours frequently.
If someone called with a problem to their network i sometimes pretended no-one was there and ik just answered the phone as i was the cleaner cleaning the desk.

But i continued computers and networks are my hobby so maybe i can help anyways.

I did this untill my boss came in one morning, a company had called to ask who our cleaner was, coz he wanted to offer him a job as he had solved his problem so very efficiently.... lol.

[Goodness]

wow Mark ,so you have to be good at it mate. Nice to have a job that you like .

[Phalanx-=Of-God=- (James)]

Makes you want to reach through that computer screen and slap the person doesn't it?

[Princess-=Of-God=-]

The Giant fish goes so nicely with the CD rom fish the kids made for art class last year. We certainly have a fun looking office.
Jeff purchased these cool denim curtians and the part you hang over the curtain rod are overall fasteners. It is very cool.
The sunlight reflects off the giant fish on the wall and it looks really pretty. And then the ones hanging on the cieling that the kids and I made dance with the light and cast cool colorful prisms on the wall. It's really neat. A bit too manly for me, but it works well for Jeff.
My corner is a little more girly as it has my shadow with a bunch of little knick knacks and a Thomas Kinkaid calendar. There is also a pink throw over my desk chair because it gets cold in here. I figure it's the one room in the house that he gets to decorate because he spends more time in it than I do, but I need my girlyness too.

[Peace-=Of-God=-]

;D True, but you neglected to mention the really manly-man decoration in our office area -- my 20-inch dragon-handled katana , which hangs just above the giant CD-ROM fish on the wall over my desk.


For those of you who haven't seen it before, here's a picture of the sword itself:


... and another shot of the dragon head, wings, and claws on the handle (taken with a bummer of a cheap digital camera, sorry -- it fails to capture the true beauty of the exquisite detail of the piece ):


BTW, for those of you who haven't figured out what Christmas present to get your favorite Clan Leader yet , this sword would be a really nice addition to that display (and it's currently 35% off using the coupon code found here). ;D Oh, and don't let Princess try to talk you out of it, either!

[Zilla-=Of-God=- (Mike)]

a Katana man, i respect that (the closest i get to having a real one though, is a wooden practice one i got for $12 bucks lol)