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Post by Psalmist-=Of-God=- (Mike) on Sept 24, 2007 20:58:54 GMT -5
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
now POST YOUR OWN!
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Post by Phalanx-=Of-God=- (James) on Sept 25, 2007 10:55:21 GMT -5
When Chuck Norris goes for a swim, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
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Post by Champ-=Of-God=- (Eric) on Sept 26, 2007 22:28:22 GMT -5
Only Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Post by Titan-=Of-God=-† on Sept 27, 2007 0:07:26 GMT -5
the fastest way to a mans heart is chuck norris's fist
chuck norris once round house kicked some1 so hard his foot broke the speed of light and went back in time to knock amilia airhearts plane from the sky.
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Post by Phalanx-=Of-God=- (James) on Sept 27, 2007 20:34:47 GMT -5
It is a well know fact that Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light; not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Post by Champ-=Of-God=- (Eric) on Sept 29, 2007 17:04:24 GMT -5
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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Goodness
Former Clan Member
Eat Sleep Play
Posts: 297
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Post by Goodness on Sept 30, 2007 5:29:38 GMT -5
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris is funny  |
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Post by Phalanx-=Of-God=- (James) on Oct 7, 2007 19:26:24 GMT -5
Before the boogeyman goes to bed, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris.
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Post by rebel on Oct 7, 2007 21:20:26 GMT -5
Chuck Norris doesnt wear hats, hats wear chuck norris
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Post by River-=Of-God=-|Kody| on Oct 7, 2007 21:23:46 GMT -5
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
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Post by Champ-=Of-God=- (Eric) on Oct 7, 2007 22:56:59 GMT -5
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he doesnt use a siringe. He uses a handgun and a bucket.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
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Post by Phalanx-=Of-God=- (James) on Nov 11, 2007 20:42:01 GMT -5
Chuck Norris can divide by zero. I thought we were doing this one at a time???  |
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Post by Razgriz_Sparrow on Dec 5, 2007 9:13:39 GMT -5
Easily one of the most known:
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
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Post by Phalanx-=Of-God=- (James) on Dec 16, 2007 1:57:54 GMT -5
Why is there no life on the moon? Because Chuck Norris got there first.
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Post by dabomb on Dec 16, 2007 4:51:13 GMT -5
Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
lol
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Post by Champ-=Of-God=- (Eric) on Dec 16, 2007 21:27:07 GMT -5
Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest. Two words: lol and Ouch. |
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Goodness
Former Clan Member
Eat Sleep Play
Posts: 297
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Post by Goodness on Dec 17, 2007 13:25:40 GMT -5
Chuck Norris isn't afraid of Urban Legends, he is an Urban Legend.
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Post by Trammijuht (Priit) on Dec 17, 2007 13:48:47 GMT -5
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Priit
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Post by Skater-=Of-God=- on Dec 17, 2007 13:56:01 GMT -5
After partying all night, Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, he throws down!
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Post by Zilla-=Of-God=- (Mike) on Dec 17, 2007 18:20:22 GMT -5
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
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- Thx, Me 
